Hello, you stylish, elegant readers. I hope you’re all fabulous. This week, I’ll be talking about a subject that I am ill-equipped to discuss: fashion. Enjoy.
I love a wedding. Is it because I’m a hopeless romantic? No. Is it because of the free booze on offer? Partly. But the main reason I love weddings is the certainty of my outfit. I know that if I get invited to a wedding, the expectation is that I’ll wear a suit. Of course, the same could also be said of funerals, but I didn’t want to be too macabre this early in the blog.
Suits are easy. As long as you’ve got one that fits (if you can get a tailored one, even better), you can mix and match shirts/ties/shoes, and you’ll basically look smart. In nearly every other situation, that certainty of outfit is not there. And this causes me some issues.
Right off the bat, let me just say that I’m aware that this is probably harder for women. Although women perhaps have a wider variety of clothes to choose from, women tend to be judged on their looks/outfits more than men do. So, picking out an outfit is probably more of a minefield for them. But if I’m ill-equipped to talk about men’s fashion, that is doubly true for women’s fashion. Therefore, this blog will only look at this from a man’s perspective.
I often find myself unsure of what to wear. The worst thing you can say to me if I enquire about a dress code is: smart casual. What does that even mean? That’s the perfect recipe for me to turn up either over or underdressed.
Of course, it’s better to be overdressed than underdressed. You don’t want to be rocking up somewhere in a tracksuit and trainers if everyone else has a nice shirt and shoes. But then again, you don’t want to be in trousers and shoes if everyone else has a t-shirt and trainers.
The problem with smart casual is that it means different things to different people. For some, a shirt, jeans, and Converse would fit the bill. For others, they’d expect proper shoes, and they might even frown upon jeans. This leaves less-than-confident dressers like me with a headache.
I’ve been this way for as long as I can remember. Everything was so easy as a child, with my parents buying and choosing all of my outfits. The autonomy that came during my early teens set me on a path of uncertainty.
As a teenager, I always felt a few steps behind everyone. Just as I’d cotton on to a fashion trend, the trend would update and leave me behind. Not knowing what the new trend was (and not having the luxury of being able to buy clothes and then not wear them), I was stuck with what I perceived to be uncool looks.
It wasn’t all doom and gloom for me. I sporadically had items of clothing that I felt amazing in. When I was about 14, we went on a family holiday to Florida. Whilst there, we took a trip to the mall, and I came across the most beautiful pair of trainers in Foot Locker.
They were sky-blue Nike TN’s, and they were perfect. For context – if you look closely – they are the same trainers worn by 50 Cent in the In Da Club music video; you can spot them when he’s running on a treadmill, though his ones were white I think. I hasten to add that I bought these trainers before seeing this music video.
At that age, I felt like an absolute don when wearing those trainers. This might sound strange for anyone who has never had an affinity with a particular item of clothing or footwear, but I felt so much more confident when wearing them; it was like I was a different person.
I’ve had a similar feeling recently. About six months ago, my wife came across a men’s jumper online. She said that it would look good on me, so she bought it. This jumper is pretty out there (for me, anyway). It’s difficult to describe, but it has two different knit styles, with the larger section and one sleeve being a mint-green colour. The smaller section sort of comes diagonally across the body and, along with the other sleeve, is baby-pink.
Because the jumper is thick and it was the middle of the summer, I went months without wearing it. And the more time that passed without me wearing it, the more I lost my nerve. I’d think that it was too garish or showy for someone like me. I almost convinced myself that I wouldn’t wear it at all. Then, one day, when getting ready to go to the office, I decided to go for it.
Let me tell you, it was probably the most interesting journey into work that I’ve had (low bar, I know). I usually dress pretty conservatively, and I’m about average in the looks department, so I don’t tend to get many glances on my morning commute (or anywhere…). Because of this, if people do start looking at me, I notice. And boy, were people looking!
I was on the train, and I could see people peering over their phones or newspapers. Ditto on the tube. During the walking part of my journey, I could see people doing a sort of double-take as they walked past me. I’m not saying everyone who looked thought I looked good; there were probably a few who thought, “What the hell is he wearing?”. What was undeniable, though, was that this jumper was drawing attention.
I say it was undeniable. Such is my low confidence when it comes to clothes, by the time I was approaching my office, I’d convinced myself that the looks must have been my imagination playing tricks on me. But then I got to the office and then started a day of compliments.
Numerous colleagues commented, lavishing the jumper with praise. You might argue that they were just being polite, but I received similar compliments from the food servers down in the cafe when I went for lunch.
The pièce de résistance was the compliment I received from a stranger in the office. My part of the office is quite annoying in that we don’t have a kitchen area. If we want to get a drink, we have to walk to the opposite side of the floor, into a completely different branch of the company. On a trip to make a cup of tea, a woman – who turned out to be American – said, “Oh my God, I love your sweater.”.
“What is the point of this blog?”, I hear you ask. Is it simply a way for me to brag about my jumper? Partly. But the salient point is that despite this recent ‘success’, I still routinely face uncertainty with what to wear. I’m fast approaching 35 years old, so it’s unlikely that this is something that will change.
The only possible way it could change is if I become apathetic in my old age. Rocking up at places in a Primark t-shirt, cargo shorts, and a pair of Crocs. I hope I don’t get to the stage where I just don’t care about my appearance. As much as the current uncertainty isn’t exactly fun, I’d take a bit of anxiety over apathy any day. Is this just who I am? If the inappropriate boot fits.
Thanks for joining me on this catwalk down memory lane. I’m signing off for now. Take care.
Rob Recommends
Superman & Lois – TV – 8/10
I’ve only just got around to finishing season 2 of this, even though it aired a while ago now. It was worth the wait, with the second season perhaps outshining the first.
Superman isn’t for everyone; a lot of people say he’s boring. I don’t see him that way. I find the character endlessly intriguing. The world’s most powerful being, choosing to spend his time helping people. It’s almost the exact opposite of the world we live in. A Bizarro world, if you will?
If you’re into superheroes, I would definitely check this out.
A Rob Blog 