Lights. Camera. Action! Hello all, and welcome back to A Rob Blog. Today, I’ll be talking about films. Specifically, I’ll be looking at the reasons why I rarely watch them anymore. Grab the popcorn and enjoy!
I used to consider myself a bit of a film buff. Battleship Potemkin, The Gunfighter, A Matter of Life and Death, and The Day the Earth Stood Still (the original, not the terrible Keanu Reeves remake) are just some of the classic obscure-ish films that I have in my vault of great movies. Full disclosure, Battleship Potemkin was an important film in terms of the influence it had on other filmmakers, but it is proper boring, so swerve it at all costs. The other three are fantastic. Do try to watch them if you’ve never seen them before.
I have had a long history of watching plenty of films. As a child, I would regularly rent movies from Blockbuster (RIP!). Although I went through a phase of regularly renting a VHS double feature of Rocky III and Rocky IV (both providing truly fantastic entertainment and true re-watchability), it always felt like there was so much to choose from. It was literally the analogue equivalent of what we have with streaming services today.
As a teenager, I would literally spend every Saturday at the cinema. At the risk of sounding like an old man, it used to be so cheap! My bus journey cost 40p, the cinema ticket was around £4, and a bag of popcorn or chocolate (got to be Maltesers or Minstrels!) was a couple of quid. So the whole day cost less than £7. Now, you’re probably looking at a £20 outlay for each visit.
But enough about inflation. I used to love going to the cinema; it didn’t matter what was on, we’d watch anything. I saw some absolute bangers. The Lord of the Rings trilogy, The Mummy, Shrek. And some outright terrible films. Dumb and Dumberer was probably the nadir.
It wasn’t necessarily about the quality of the films, though. My enjoyment came from seeing something new, good or bad, that me and my friends could talk about after. The film being good was more of a bonus.
When I wasn’t at the cinema or out renting movies, I’d watch them on TV. We used to get a newspaper delivered daily, and, in the Saturday edition, there was a TV guide style magazine included. In there, a film critic would do a rundown of all the best films on TV for the following week. I would go through the Sky schedule and set up recordings for the bulk of the movies. I’d probably record anywhere between one to three films per day, notching up a decent cache to dip into whenever I had some free time.
My personal best was watching four films in one day. I just loved watching them. Some would be films I’d seen before, others brand new (either because they were new and I missed them at the cinema, or older films that I’d just never seen before).
I’d watch anything from classics like One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest or Planet of the Apes to silly comedies like Old School or Super Troopers. From older crime movies like Assault on Precinct 13 or Copland to newer films like Training Day or Inside Man (got to love Denzel!). If you want a more obscure Denzel Washington film, check on Fallen, an underrated and creepy film.
But that was then. Now? Not so much. Do you want to know the last time I went to the cinema? It was to see Aladdin. That’s right, 1992! I kid. I’m, of course, talking about the 2019 remake. Even so, four years is a big chunk of time. You might think the Covid pandemic – and subsequent lockdowns – was a factor. Truthfully, I don’t think that made any difference.
I’m just not a cinema guy anymore. This may change in the not too distant future. My daughter is approaching five years old, and though my wife and I are a little unsure she has the patience to sit through a film, I daresay we will give it a try pretty soon.
Failing that, I’m very excited about a release next month. One of my favourite films of the last few years is Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse. It’s possibly up there with some of my favourite movies of all time; it’s an absolute masterpiece. And the sequel is out in June! I might even go to the cinema alone (something I’ve never done) if I can’t find anyone else who wants to see it.
I came close to going to the cinema towards the end of 2021. My friends and I were very excited about the new Matrix film, so we set about making plans to go. But, like most attempted plans for me these days, we struggled to find a date that suited everyone, and I ended up not going.
And that brings me to the main reason I don’t really watch films anymore: I’m just too darn busy! Like most of you, I work Monday to Friday. My weekends are usually spent with my children; even if we don’t have plans, I can’t exactly put a film on during the day. On the rare occasions I’m not with my kids at a weekend, it’s probably because I have plans with friends.
Even if I do find myself with some free time, I usually have other forms of entertainment that come before watching a film. For example, there is usually football on at the weekend, so I will take a couple of hours to watch that when Arsenal are on the telly. And if I do get a chance to watch something other than the Gunners, there’s usually a dozen or so TV shows that I’m either currently watching or I’m eager to start (not that I can watch any of them until the kids are asleep). But also, once the kids have gone to bed, that’s pretty much the only chance I get to fire up the PlayStation. There’s literally not enough time to do it all.
Having said that, evenings probably present the best opportunity to watch a movie. But my wife makes this difficult. The problem we have is that we have very different tastes in films. That’s not to say there aren’t any films that we both enjoy (or both hate, if you want to look at it in a pessimistic way).
But, for the most part, she’s not into action, or sci-fi, or sports, or superheroes, or classics. So if I want to watch something within those genres, watching with my wife is out the window. She loves Disney films and musicals, so those are the things we tend to watch together (also, I have a blog about Frozen coming soon, so look out for that! ).
Because of these issues, I’ve found myself having to compromise some of my ideals. I used to be a bit of a purist. I had two main rules that I never broke:
1) Always watch films on as large a screen as possible. The smallest screen I will watch on is a television (no smaller than a 32-inch).
2) Always watch films in one sitting. I don’t care if it’s four hours, watch the whole thing.
I break both of these rules basically every time I watch a film now. The only time I get to myself is during my commute to and from work. That’s a 30-minute train journey, followed by a 30-minute tube journey, and vice versa for the way home. So, I can get through a two-hour movie in one day. I once decided to watch the extended versions of The Lord of the Rings trilogy; it took me weeks!
I simply have to download a film onto my phone (hello small screen) and then watch said film half an hour at a time (and hello multiple sittings).
But what choice do I have? If I want any vague hope of keeping up with at least some movies, this is how I do it. Maybe when my kids are all grown up, I’ll have a later-life renaissance where I’ll have time to watch films again. Of course, by that point, I’ll have so much catching up to do that I won’t know where to start. But until that point, forget it, Jake, it’s Chinatown.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. It’s been a pleasure as always. I guess that’s a wrap. Until next time, take it easy.
Rob Recommends
Bullet Train – Film – 9/10
A film I did have a chance to watch recently… Bullet Train is an absolute joy. So much fun. It’s so enjoyable, it goes by very quickly (like some sort of high-speed vehicle, can’t think of any off the top of my head).
Following a group of assassins who all end up on the same train for different reasons, their stories intersect in a variety of entertaining and violent ways.
A word for Aaron Taylor-Johnson, who is simply brilliant as an assassin from the east end of London. I’m not sure I’ve ever heard a character swear as much during fight scenes; genuinely hilarious.
It also shows the benefit of hiring an English actor for an English role. Although hailing from Buckinghamshire (not a million miles away to be fair), his east end accent is immaculate. Contrast it with the laughable (and charming, in my opinion) accent of Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins, or the bloody annoying accent of Charlie Hunnam in Green Street, and there really is no comparison. Top work all around on this film.
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